|Image courtesy: Zomato
I was going to write a long theoretical post about how non-vegetarians hardly ever seem to understand us vegetarians, but instead, I’ve decided to come up with something better. Here’s a list of the funniest things that people have said to me, with reference to vegetarianism.
1. “You’re a vegetarian? How do you live?”
– I’m Anti-Matter. You are the first to uncover my secret. Congratulations.
2. “Why don’t you just pick the chicken off and eat the pizza?” – On being offered a slice of chicken pizza.
– No. I ain’t touching that tainted pizza.
3. “This tastes like cow fodder”- When someone took a bite of my granola bar.
– Um Bro. You can’t ask to take a bite of my food and then insult it. That’s just wrong.
4. “I would never marry a vegetarian”- On discussing marriage with a male friend.
– You should list that on your next matrimonial ad. ‘Bride wanted: Fair, slim, carnivorous’
5. “Maybe they’ll have a paneer steak”- when a couple of friends were planning a trip to a restaurant whose speciality was steak.
– Thanks but no thanks
6. “Come over to the dark side… We have kebabs”- On being ‘persuaded’ to turn non-vegetarian.
– Tempting as that sounds, I’m sure my side has an equally delicious alternative. Vegetarians can be quite creative. 😉
7.”I can’t imagine my life without chicken… I don’t know how you do it.”
– I do it in the same way that I speak Turkish. I don’t speak Turkish.
8. I once complained that my salad felt raw because it had no dressing, and someone actually made a snide remark about how I should be used to it by now.
9. “A little chicken soup would make you feel much better”- when I was down in bed with a cold, during the rainy season, in hostel.
– Shut up and give me my meds.
10. “My food poops on your food. It’s the circle of life.”
11. “How will you ever get any nutrition?”
– Oh Gosh, I don’t know- how about from the food I’ve been eating all my life?
12. I once asked a friend what chicken tastes like- “It’s like trying to explain what the meaning of life is.”
13. “Do you really think that the plants that you killed for your food haven’t been alive?”
– I bet that took every last bit of intellect you owned!
14. “Everytime I order something and you ask if its vegetarian.. It’s a little sad”- on being let down by a delicious looking non-vegetarian dish.
– Well excuse me for not wanting to eat food that had a face.
15. “You can’t call yourself a true foodie if you don’t eat non-vegetarian food”
– You. Over there, with the ignorant opinion. Shut up right now.
Food doesn’t discriminate. Food doesn’t care
It’s all a choice you make. So guys, don’t forget to go easy on us vegetarians at the end of the day, because we all love you as much as we love our aloo and paneer. <3 Don’t forget to show some love. You can leave a comment and tell me what you think of the post.